Decluttering on Cocaine

Um, really?  There are people out there who are searching for information about decluttering while on cocaine and they were directed to The Keswick Blog via their search engines to be informed on said subject? Hmmmm.  I am not sure if I find that information flattering or merely mildly disturbing.

Every now and then, I succumb to curiosity and check which search terms are bringing people to the K.B.  Recently, these are the top search terms (exactly as typed) that brought people here (during the past 90 days):

noses

decluttering on cocaine (sorry, but if you’re high on cocaine and worrying about how to declutter your den, it’s time to find a new dealer because you are getting ripped the fuck off. If cocaine were the ‘I’m so type A that I must clean, declutter and organize all my shit’ drug it would have a totally different fan base.

will ferrell bucket of blood (ew. Yes, well. Um, maybe a typo? Repeated by many people?  Now I have to search that to see what the story is.  Why are people looking for a bucket of blood? Unless you’re heading to prom with Carrie, a bucket of blood is probably excessive.  Just sayin’. )

i want you to shut the f up (um, who are these people talking to?!?  They sound crazy.  I’d probably like them.)

pickupfuckers (still making the list – how weird is that?)

male’s penis into female’s vagina (words. fail.)

freshco keswick hours (people gotta eat. Even in the ‘wick)

I’m not exactly sure what to take away from this information other than (a) I use the word ‘fuck’ too often in this blog (granted some would argue that I use far too much foul language in general on The Keswick Blog, but I have to use it here.  Using it in my everyday conversations would just be wrong, since 90% of my daily conversations are between me and a three-year-old); (b) somehow the K.B. is becoming a technical sex education resource (really should look at spicing that up somehow); and (c) the locals really like shopping at FreshCo, for there was not one single hit for any other local store hours.  I think I feel an experiment coming on. ;)

My life story.

My life story.

 

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2 comments

  1. A,….words just fail me on this one…other than to say I spewed tea outta my nose and continued to gag and sputter whilst laughing my way through the post. Thanks for the belly laugh at the end of a long day! :D

  2. male’s penis into female’s vagina (words. fail.)

    I gots nothing for that. No one should. Ever.

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