Logical sequencing, sensible leaps in reasoning, educated guessing. Many of us do these things on a daily basis. Some of us (um, not me?) take twisty, wonky roads to reach the most logical (to ourselves) conclusions, and sometimes, conclusions just do not gel well with the available premises (or premiss’). And for me, today, this all started with a Google search that threw shit sideways and rocked my faith in our collective ability to have a future as a people.
Let’s say, for example, I had been listening to my three youngest sons berate, argue, bicker and brawl for the last hour, and in desperation (and my valiant attempt to not toss them all out into the snow to ‘cool off’), I fired up my laptop, opened up Google and typed ” why do brothers” and before I could finish my thought and type “fight,” Google very helpfully (and terrifyingly) filled in the blanks:
And that, dear people, is why I fear for the future of civilized humanity. Go home Google, you’re drunk.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go try to sing my weight away, I think there is something to that idea. When it pans out, watch for my infomercial, coming soon to a television near you (Insert the ‘These claims are not endorsed by the FDA disclaimer’ here). I bet that I can get Sally Struthers to host it, she’s having a slow year. What a score that would be. Anyhoo, off to sing now using Ms. M’s new Hello Kitty (!!) Karaoke machine. It is too awesome. First, it’s Hello Kitty, second, it’s pink, third, it plays music, fourth, it has a microphone and fifth, a camera pops out of her head and puts YOUR image on the television screen. It’s American Idol in my freakin’ living room yo! Thank you, Santa! Um, I mean, Ms. M. says thank you, Santa.