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I am living with a serial killer and I have the proof

Totally not a joke. For a while I thought it was just a phase. A passing, twisted, gross phase. I’m not a cat person and I’m not a cat. I…

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If you say ‘Excuse me’ it won’t stink and other sound bytes from my minion army

I may have mentioned this once or twice before, but I love my kids. I may have even given them their own hashtag (or pound sign, as I still insist…

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Everyone uses vodka bottles as decor accents. Right?

So, this is not a secret, but it’s not generally something that I talk about. I don’t drink. And before this gets weird, it’s not that I can’t drink. I’m…

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Greed and resentment

I found myself at the school yard this afternoon with my minion army. They were playing together while I sat on the grass and watched them, read my book and…

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I ate this (a blatant display of self-abasement)

and immediately felt guilty. I felt like a terrible person. I felt like a failure and a loser and bad parent and a poor example and really, quite honestly, worth,…

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You never realize how ignorant you are until you have kids

Sometimes I really wish I would have listened to and believed my parents when they told me (often) that no, I really did not yet have all of the answers.…

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March Break Instalment of Things My Kids Say

MONDAY We were driving home from Newmarket, after a semi-satisfying lunch at Costco, (for the kids, I behaved and stuck to sipping my Diet Pepsi and pretended not to be…

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Child conversations that age me instantly

Miss Moon is four years old. Her friend, Miss L. is five years old. They were planning a dance party afterschool in the kids’ living room. This conversation transpired: Miss…

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Who deviated my septum? One theory

A few years ago, I found out that a majority of my breathing issues (or snoring if we want to be blunt) was possibly due, in part, to having a…

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