So, this is not a secret, but it’s not generally something that I talk about. I don’t drink. And before this gets weird, it’s not that I can’t drink. I’m not in recovery or denial or a convent or a correctional facility, I just choose not to drink. I like the idea of it a whole lot though. And that may be one reason why I abstain. Because I really love the idea of chocolate as well and just look where that’s landed me ( as I undo the top button on my jeans because they are cutting into my delicate fluffy center while I sit here trying to write).
So anyway, I don’t drink. I think I may have mentioned that. But not being a drinker does not preclude me from hoarding the bottles that contain that which I do not consume, does it? Oh, good, because I have long loved airplane sized bottles (when I was a kid, they were actually real GLASS – so much cooler).
A while ago when I visited my mum, I realized that I had left my airplane bottle collection at her house when I moved out. So I quickly remedied that situation by tossing about ten little bottles of liquor in my purse. Luckily, I made it home without police interference, so I didn’t have to walk the line, recite the alphabet backwards or try to explain exactly why I had a mini-LCBO stowed away inside my purse. When I got back to the ‘wick, I set up my precious little bottles in our curio cabinet and promptly forgot about them again. Because I don’t drink (or I’m in the early stages of non-alcohol induced senility).
And then Christmas rolled around, predictably so, and my annual trip to the big person LCBO was upon me. And after picking up the bottles of gift wine for various people, I scanned the shelves by the cash and saw this:
And how was I expected to just leave it there on the shelf? So I bought it, vodka and all and gave it a place of honour in my office, overlooking where I sit. So that when I’m in there working (right now I’m typing away at the kitchen table because it makes me far more accessible to my smalls), I am being watched over and guided by the coolest vodka bottle I’ve ever owned. And I’ve owned some bottles, let me tell you.
Even better, this vodka is made by a company owned by Dan Aykroyd. Who just happens to be Canadian. And the vodka (Crystal Head) is additive-free and distilled in Newfoundland after it is quadruple-distilled and filtered seven times, with the final 3 filtrations through Herkimer diamond crystals. The Crystal Skull bottle was designed by artist John Alexander and is manufactured by Milan-based glass-manufacturer Bruni Glass. So, even better than a bottle hoarder, I’m a patriot, a champion of natural ingredients and healthy choices, a supporter of fellow Canadian artists and companies with a sparkling and international flair, not to mention damn fine taste in interior design.
I’m not entirely sure what ‘on fleek’ means, but I’m pretty sure this qualifies. That is all. Now, go forth and conquer your Monday rites and rituals but come and see me again later this week. I’ll likely still be sober and of not the soundest of minds.
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