Family Day 2014
*phone ringing*
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello, can I speak with argh-bragh-urgh? *heavy accent and slurring*
Me: ah, may I ask who’s calling?
Caller: underwear
Me: pardon? I’m sorry, I think we’re okay. Would you please take us off your call list?
Caller: SHUT UP! *click*
And that was it. It was as over as quickly as it began. Our time together was fleeting, confusing and memorable, much like my first crush on a boy. Same old story, he was the kid who licked the fence post and got his tongue frozen there, inspiring disgust and delight in my five-year-old heart, one winter afternoon at daycare. The crush was fleeting, I don’t really remember his name (Adam, maybe?) but I remember thinking that he must be daring, brave and stupid all at the same time. I remember thinking how he must have done it wrong to have such a tear-filled, snot-flowing ending. This was my last thought right before I stuck my bottom lip to the same pole and my high-pitched wailing sent the daycare workers running for more hot water to free yet another dummy from the metal fence post, a fence that was likely designed to keep kids in, not render them mute.
Turns out, there is no good way to lick a metal anything in the dead of a Canadian winter.
Mercy me.
