I’ve put off writing this post long enough

I’ve put this off, and off, and off again because just starting to try and think about everything that it means makes me sick to my stomach and feel like wrapping my kids in my arms and hiding away from the world with them, keeping them safe from all that ails our society forever.  But that is not reasonable.  Or responsible.  Or the reason I had kids.

One of the most popular search terms that bring people to “Kyle Ehinger” related posts on The Keswick Blog is “how did Kyle Ehinger die?”  And I have put off really addressing this for far too long.  For a long time I did not have the answer, only speculation and assumptions, so I said nothing.  But when I did find out how he died, my writing fingers froze and I said nothing again.  And my cowardice has been a disservice to a cause that really, really needs ambassadors to help combat one of those aforementioned ailments of our society.

So.  How did Kyle Ehinger die?  Kyle died as a result of an accidental suicide.  It was a suicide because he meant to hang himself.  It was accidental because he did not hang himself out of depression, or teenage angst, or whatever other reasons people hang themselves.  It was accidental because Kyle did not mean to die.  Kyle hanged himself to ‘get high’ playing what is commonly known as “The Choking Game.”

There are a multitude of websites and articles dedicated to explaining the premise of this ‘game.’  The long and the short of it is – it is a way that “good” kids have found to get a ‘high’ without drugs or alcohol – the two things that we as responsible and loving parents drill into their heads to stay away from.  So they do.  But they are still kids.  And they are still under-developed.  They are still lacking some serious skills and life experiences to make rational, reasonable and informed decisions.  I have read about kids as young as nine-years-old playing this ‘game’ and losing.  Whether the kid is nine or nineteen, the result is the same.  Permanent damage, often times death.

I was shocked and horrified to find out that Kyle had ‘played’ this game many times before that one last time.  That he had shared the game with some friends who told him that it was ‘retarded’ and to stop doing it, but he didn’t.  The question that everyone is asking is “why?” And it’s a question none of us will ever have the real answer to.  We can speculate, we can discuss it, we can beat our heads against the wall, but we will never truly know why Kyle, or any other child played this ‘game.’

Kyle’s father is working tirelessly to get the word out about this, not wanting any other parents, families, or kids to have to endure the life sentence that he and his family now face as a result of that one stupid decision Kyle made last May.  To read about or hear from Kyle’s dad, Ed Ehinger, or to read a detailed and disturbing first-hand account of the discovery of Kyle’s death, please check out the following sites:

Charles Adler, July 10, 2012

Charles Adler, Discussion and Recap

For more information about the Choking Game, what we can do, what to look out for, please check out:

Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play (G.A.S.P.)

The Dangerous Behaviors Foundation

and this, CBC Fifth Estate episode which aired in 2006.  2006, for the love of God, and it’s still going on everyday!  This has to stop.

Kyle was a good kid who made a really, really, really stupid decision that his family, girlfriend, friends and community have to deal with.  His parents will never get over it, his family will never get over it.  I don’t think that anyone who has been touched by this deadly, horrific “Game” will ever get over it.

A City TV special aired today, featuring Ed speaking out about what his family has been through – not for himself but to try to stop this from happening to just one other family.  Once the piece posted online, I’ll add a link to this post.

UPDATED – Now Online – The Inside Story with Avery Haines on City TV – The Inside Story: How the choking game cost a young man his life