Is that WEED?

Ugh. So, this is 2020?

I spend a fair amount (read: half) of my life driving my people from place to place, mediating arguments and pulling over to allow any number of body functions to happen outside of my minivan. In other words, kids are fairly gross and my life is the definition of dazzling glamour. Don’t hate. Someone has to do it.

Thankfully, today on our way home from our first outing of the year, there was no call to pull over, threaten ejection from the vehicle or any other emotionally taxing and scarring action on my part. Unless, of course we count having to listen and participate in the conversations that occur behind me while I’m navigating our roads in my quest to keep everyone alive (which, incidentally, is how I spend the other half of my life – trying to keep everyone alive – ugh).

This afternoon’s conversation was one of those.
Driving north on Woodbine Avenue:

D13 – Ewwww. What’s that smell?
M15 – I dunno.
M9 – Ugh. It’s probably just from the fields. I don’t even smell anything.
D13 – Well, Mummy smells it.
M9 – D, just because Mummy smells it, doesn’t mean I have to, you know.
D13 – Ugh. Whatever, M.
M9 – Whatever, D.
P11 (appearing to just tune into the conversation) – Wait! Is it WEED? Is that what WEED smells like? I don’t know what WEED smells like – does it smell like this? This smells really bad. Mummy? Mumma?
Me (age withheld) – It is not weed. I am not sure what it is, but I’m actually fairly certain that it is smell is my brain frying combined with bitter regret and the tears of angels.
D13, M15, M9, P11 (in unison) – Oh.

P11 – Do angels really cry, Mama?

And that, my friends, is the sound of the “Mother of the Year” people shredding my entry and striking my name from the eligibility list forevermore.

Happy New Year, from my motley crew to you and yours! May 2020 bring more convoluted conversations, grey hair and teenage eye rolls. Those are a few of my favourite things ever. xo

P.S. Join me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Sometimes, I post info, ideas or photos everywhere, and other gems (and duds) only get posted in one place. Some things are totally worth skipping, occasionally there are things well-worth sharing. Either way, I’m happy for the company (as long as we can both stay in our own homes, in our jammies, with no actual face-to-face contact. #IntrovertProblems). Also, please feel free to like, comment on and share any post, for any reason, including blind rage and mockery. I dig it.

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