You know what is really upsetting?

This. The picture says it all. Tell me you see it too.

Just take a minute to let it sink in and fully appreciate what I'm saying here.

Just take a minute to let it sink in and fully appreciate what I am sharing here.

And while the picture says it all, I will add (this very long, run-on sentence) that when you are trying your best to be ‘healthy’, going about your business and organizing your vitamins so you may have everything ready in order to get your health goals back on track and some previously un-noticed writing on the side of the organizing case catches your eye and only then do you realize that your handy-dandy vitamin organizers were ‘swag’ from a cemetery, it really sort of, no, absolutely, sucks balls.

I immediately stopped what I was doing (mid-week, even) and asked myself: what are they trying to tell me? Are they mocking me? Goading me even, perhaps? And why are they (the cemetery people) pretending that they are trying to help me stay alive when in all actuality, they need me (and everyone else, really) dead to increase their dirty, dark profit margin and to be able to afford all of this fancy-schmancy swag. Because nothing says “thank you for your business, so sorry for your loss and we hope to see you again too soon” like a medication/capsule organizer, right? And really, what other business can you think of that can get away with wishing their target clientele dead and stay in business? I get they may not get a lot of repeat customers but really, maybe another business plan is called for to create another income stream? Also, whatever happened to a good old fridge magnet or lousy desk calendar?

So now whenever I take my vitamins, I think of death. Well played death expert assholes, well played.

P.S. This vitamin snafu did have a bright side. It served as a reminder to me to spend some time on our estate planning, things like Wills, Powers of Attorney, choosing the correct beneficiary for my one-of-a-kind eraser collection – you know, the important stuff that you just cannot leave to fate. ????

P.P.S. Before anyone asks me just how exactly I find myself the mortified owner of these fine specimens of mixed-message marketing, I’ll tell you. They were a thrift store find. Which leads to the obvious conclusions that 1) I am not the only one who found these of questionable taste and 2) I need to inspect my thrift store purchases a wee bit more closely in the future. ????

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