So, I marched to my own drummer, except it turns out that my drummer is an asshole with no sense of rhythm. Go figure, right?

Almost two weeks into 2015 I published a post listing my goals for the year. You can read that post here. This year, instead of a December wrap-up, I’m going to wrap up the year by reviewing my stated goals and reporting back honestly how badly I failed on them. I haven’t read them over before writing this post, so we’ll just go through them together and be surprised when I actually don’t come up short on each and every goal, ‘k?

2015 Goals:

1) Eat less chocolate. FAIL. Until around November when I gave up all animal products, including dairy. But Christmas came and I fell onto that turkey like a depraved lunatic, forgetting all about my vows of being a kinder, gentler me. Animal products and I had a torrid affair once again, but it’s over now. I’ve sent them packing. But overall, the less chocolate thing? Didn’t pan out so well.

2) Drink some water. I did this! I totally drank some water in 2015.

3) Join a gym for six months and don’t lie to yourself or others about going. FAIL. I did join the gym. And I did go. A little bit. But not enough to make it worth my time, money or humiliation. So I did not renew after the six month period. And I think I’m okay with it for now.

4) Smile. I think I did fairly well on this one. At least I hope that I did. I’ll ask my kids tomorrow. They pull no punches and will tell me the god-awful truth.

5) Compliment other people more. DONE! I think I was much better in 2015 about complementing people (sincerely) more often that I had been previously.

6) Read. Just read. DONE! I read actual books without pictures and not found in the juvenile section of the library. Woo hoo!

7) Crochet six things. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. Crocheted ZERO items.

8) Blog, journal, write, write, write. I blogged. I micro-blogged. I journal wrote when I was offline and unplugged. But not nearly enough. Going a month at a time without doing much more than an occasional micro-blog post on Facebook or Instagram really is not good enough, but I’m giving myself a 4/10 on this goal.

9) Eat less chocolate. Nope. Still a FAIL, no matter where I put it on the list. I missed the mark on this one entirely. It’s almost like I did not understand the instructions.

10) Complete 12 30-day challenges. FAILED. Completely and utterly did not do this. I’m not sure if I forgot to or if I got sucked into a dark pit or if I just got overwhelmed and decided to concentrate on getting through the days intact, but I did not complete much more than my 30-day challenge to change my eating habits. I meant to keep that one going, but Christmas came and I’m a weak son of a bitch, so I caved. But, I’m thinking that I’ll likely toss this one back on the list for 2016. Because whatever else I am (and I am a whole lot of mess, let me tell you), a quitter I am not.

Huh. So there we have it. I’ll be back later this week or perhaps next week (am trying really hard to not make promises I cannot keep), with the 2016 goals or resolutions list, but I may need to scale it down some this time. Judging by my 2015 list, I seem to set goals that are a tad lofty and unattainable for my given skill-set or competency level. ????

How did you do on your 2015 goals? I’m sure you slayed them. Because your drummer is probably more like Ringo Starr rather than the tone-deaf, demented, one-armed sloth wannabe who’s been leading my parade lately.