My 2015 was not a bad year. It wasn’t a fantastic year and at times it felt as bad as it could get, but it never was. It could have always gotten worse. Luckily for me, it levelled out and did not drag me down completely. I admit to spending some time hiding from the world, from my kids, from my life. In 2016 I aim to hide a little less and draw courage from the areas of my life which give me the strength and the resolve to continue to march forward into whatever battles I face.
Last week I posted a review of my 2015 goals with some mixed results. I have fired that drummer. He was shit. I am now working on my 2016 goals and choosing a new drummer to march beside while taking 2016 on with all the determination and conscious decision-making skills that I afford the process of mowing through a cheesecake. All I can say is, look out 2016, I’m coming for you.
In 2016, I am not going to focus on being skinny, rich, famous or super organized. I am not going to blow my brains out trying to be the craftiest mum, the greatest baker, the tastiest cook or the most obsessive cleaner. I am going to focus my energy on being a better ‘me’ than I was in 2015. I am going to focus my energy not on being able to do everything by myself but rather on encouraging more team work within my family, more interaction and less distraction. I am going to focus my energy on nurturing and developing my talents and passions. I am going to write more, learn and play more music, read more books, play more games and give more of myself to the people in my life while still keeping enough back to feed my soul and grow as a complete person, not merely a shell through which energy flows to feed the needs of others. I am going to stop fighting off my natural sideways inclinations, filter-less blurting speech patterns and bouts of crazy and make them work for me instead. I’m never going to be ‘normal’ but I think that finally, to me, this no longer means that I am totally defective and must turn myself in knots to conform to everyone else. I am beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, I am going to be good just being me. Wombat-shit crazy and all. But just in case I’m wrong, I am still reserving my rights to become a unicorn instead. ????
But, before all of that New Year goodness begins, I need to get this house cleaned up. I cannot stand starting a new year with a messy house. I have stuff to toss, stuff to donate, stuff to sell and stuff to stash. And I’m pretty sure that now that Christmas is over that it is time to get my eating back on track (I felt just fine without meat or dairy, but somehow the holiday season made revert to old habits and it’s proven to me that my old habits were not the best thing for me), so I should make sure that I don’t have any contraband in the house. If I do, I ought to make it disappear in some non-wasteful, environmentally conscious, earth friendly way before midnight ????.
So, on that note, Happy New Year! I hope that you have whatever day you want to have on this last day of 2015 and make 2016 all that you want and need it to be (but still be prepared for the shit, because life is messy, and according to those awful Always Discreet commercials, pee happens – ugh ????. Advertisers. But that’s a post for another day).
~A.????