Conversations with kids thus far in 2017

As some of you know, Miranda and I just returned from an adventure at the hospital that included an over-night stay. While we were waiting for a room in the Hospital for Sick Kids E.R. Miranda announced to me, rather urgently, that she needed the bathroom. So, off we went, dragging the IV trolley beside us in search of a bathroom. We found one close by.

“Oh, wait a minute, honey. The seat is a mess” I told her once we were inside the little bathroom. She looked over her shoulder at the toilet, “Ugh! Who PEES like that?” she asked incredulously. Before I had the chance to answer, she spoke again, in a low voice while looking downward and slowly shaking her head. “Boys.” she said. “Boys pee like that” she sounded so mournful, so disappointed and just so defeated that I had to stifle a chuckle. She cut a comical, yet heartbreaking figure, all six-and-a-half years of her wearing nothing but dark grey cotton tights and 3/4 sleeve purple top, now cut up the side of the left arm to accommodate her temporary plaster cast, which was supporting her broken elbow.  Her other hand was incapacitated by the i.v. drip and sponge block the nurse had just finished setting up moments before. Her beautiful blonde hair a tangled mess of curls, hair elastics and sleep. And, as I hurried to clean up the seat for her, using the hospital one-ply and a prayer (honestly though – who does pee like that? And more importantly, who leaves it like that?), I had to agree with her, “yes baby, boys sometimes pee like that.” And, hoping that she would sense my solidarity and hear me telepathically, I thought “and sometimes, it’s just enough to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I hear ya, kiddo.”


And then this exchange just happened:

Paxton – Mummy, do you know what I’m really good at?

Me: Everything?

Paxton: Yes. But no. Really. I mean do you know what I’m really good at?

Me: What?

Paxton: I’m really good at sticking my head in a bucket of water and getting an apple.

Me: Bobbing for apples? That’s what you’re really good at?

Paxton: Yup! *beaming and proud as punch*

Me: … *with visions of a 50 year-old Pax living in my basement flashing through my mind*

Thank you, Mr. Einstein for this invaluable insight and truth. I am a believer.

My literal, if not linguistical, smalls have the best conversations

First, let me say that technically “linguistical” is not a word, but in reality it works.  Just to make sure that I was spelling this non-word correctly, I did what any self-respecting cacographer would do and I Googled that shit.  And this is what I found:


So, while “not in technical use” it does not flat-out state that you CANNOT use it, just that it is not in use.  So now it is, because I just used it.  LOVING the Google, as always!

But really, what all of this is leading to is the overheard conversation my three and four-year-olds had in the car the other morning on the way back from swimming.

Paxton (4): Muuuuuuur-and-da!  Say ‘swimming suit’ in French!

Miranda (3): Swimming suit in French.  Me say it, Mummy!  Me say swimming suit in FRENCH!

Paxton (clearly disappointed with the direction the conversation has gone): Oh, Muuur-and-da.

and then, without missing a beat: Do you want to play Big Bad Wolf when we get home?

Miranda: Yaaaaa!

These miniature people have much to teach me.  In that short exchange, they faced with elation, disappointment and frustration and made plans for the future with ZERO conflict.  And they did come home, have a snack and play Big Bad Wolf, until Paxton decided that it would be better to play Big Nice Wolf, because it’s not nice to be bad in the game and it would be more fun to be a nice wolf.  Of course, Miranda wasn’t interested in being a nice wolf, but they reached a compromised and played ‘going to the beach’ instead.  Win-win-win.  It is the BEST when any of my kids can reach a Peace Accord without my intervention! 🙂

Summer is swimming along.  Camp, swimming lessons, and wolves.  Happy kids = Happy Mama.  From 42°C heat wave last week to a low of 12°C overnight tonight, one thing is certain, and that is weather is an unpredictable asshole so enjoy what we have today, because there could be a blizzard tomorrow.

Lessons are out there to be learned, people.   *Not my photo, but cannot find a source to credit, so we'll credit "Unknown cat photographer" for this one.

Lessons are out there to be learned, people.
*Not my photo, but cannot find a source to credit, so we’ll credit “Unknown cat photographer” for this one.