I’m no design diva or anything but, um, hello?

So, the other day, we took the smalls across the border to Buffalo to celebrate Mason’s 11th birthday. He loves going to Niagara Falls and checking out the Buffalo scene, so we made a day of it. At one of our last stops before heading back to our homeland, (Harbour Freight), I needed to use the facilities (that’s how a lady says I had to pee, I know this because I’m reading up on such things). So I left the smalls under the supervision of the disinterested looking store clerks (or possibly their father, how am I supposed to remember, I had to pee, remember?) and headed on to the back of the store where these facilities were hidden away.

This is the inside of the door. A little dingy, perhaps more contaminated than not, but when you really have to pee, just having a door makes this space AWESOME.

This is the inside of the door. A little dingy, perhaps more contaminated than not, but when you really have to pee, just having a door makes this space AWESOME. Even if there is bubonic plague  covering every surface. ????

And then, after locking the door, I did a quick scan for a place to hang up my coat (and to check for hidden cameras. Yes, it was that cruddy in there). My husband, when I showed him these pictures asked me why I’d need to hang up my coat (he tries to touch as few things as possible in these public situations). All became clear when I said “well, when you need to sit down…” Enough said. He is really NOT a fan of public bathrooms at the best of times. Being able to remain standing for the duration of his visit is likely what makes being there bearable. Anyway, I found the coat hooks here:

Hmmm. Okay, whatever, I REALLY need to pee. Something is screwy, but unless I want to be standing in a puddle, it's time to move forward with things here.

Hmmm. Okay, whatever, I REALLY need to pee. Something is screwy, but unless I want to be standing in a puddle, it’s time to move forward with things here.

Finally, rational thought and sanity regained control of my mind and as I washed my hands and turned to dry them, that earlier ‘something screwy’ observation became really obvious.

Uh, peek-a-boo, I can't see you and I need to dry my hands and rejoin my kids before they tear the store apart down to the studs? Well, shit.

Uh, peek-a-boo, I can hear you working but can’t see you at all and I really need to dry my hands and rejoin my kids before they tear the store apart down to the studs. Well, shit then.

Not wanting to juggle my coat and purse with wet hands (because I am an eff’ing classy and elegant lady thankyouverymuch) I tried out a few solutions, like:

Oh! There you are hand dryer. Now if I could only feel your warm, recycled air just enough to dry my hands, that would be lovely. Oh, I see. Not meant to be then?

Oh! There you are hand dryer. Now if I could only feel your warm, recycled air just enough to dry my hands, that would be lovely. Oh, I see. Not meant to be then?

I can see a little bit more of you now, hand dryer friend. but now, my hands are perfectly dry. My coat, however, is damp. Well, double shit.

I can see a little bit more of you now, hand dryer friend. but now, my hands are perfectly dry. My coat, however, is damp. Well played hand dryer, well played. Fucker.

Moral of this story? That although I hold no formal training in interior design, I do have enough common sense to pull off a better bathroom design that this:

I should probably just learn how to take bathroom selfies instead of spending my time doing design critique.

I should probably just learn how to take bathroom selfies instead of spending my time doing design critique. God only knows what people thought that I was doing in the bathroom all that time (I was taking pictures after trying to juggle my purse and coat without using my hands)

Come and hang out with me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram (or all three!) The more the merrier and I promise to report more of my embarrassing moments and tales of my ineptitude in the New Year! ????

 

2 thoughts on “I’m no design diva or anything but, um, hello?

  1. I found this amusing and even more so when I ran into a very similar situation! I have a pic but can’t post it here, If you email me, I will send it you. LOL

    • ???? Ohhhh! Totally send that to me or post it on the blog’s FB page, I’d love to see it. It’s good to know that it’s not just me who keeps running into these oddities (or only me who sees them as being odd…) TheKeswickBlog at Gmail dot com. I’ll totally post it on the blog for all to see ????????
      ~A.

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