I went on vacation and things exploded around here

I came home to Keswick only to find that my garden vegetables converted into the vegetable equivalent of ‘Girl’s Gone Wild’ meet ‘Welcome to the Jungle’¬†zucchini nation

contrasting veggies

mondo zucchini

mondo's mini-me

unripened heritage tomatoes

They're supposed to ripen and be purple, but so far they all look green to me.  Must be from hanging out with the zucchini bullies.

They’re supposed to ripen and be purple, but so far they all look green to me. Must be from hanging out with the zucchini bullies.

These were our normal zucchinis before our vacation.  Large, but not ridiculously so.  Apparently, my presence stunts their growth.  Perhaps the universe is telling me to stay on vacation?!?

These were our normal zucchinis before our vacation. Large, but not ridiculously so. Apparently, my presence stunts their growth. Perhaps the universe is telling me to stay on vacation?!?

More about our vacation later, but in a nutshell, we DROVE to Florida, we DID NOT do DIsney, our kids had a FABULOUS time, and gas station washrooms in the South see A LOT more action than their counterparts to the north.

Now, I’m off to find some kick-ass recipes for zucchini pickles, this family can only eat so many cookies ūüėČ

 

 

I Wish I Had A Money Tree

Because if it grew the way my zucchini seems to, we would be so flush with money it would almost be embarrassing – but only almost.¬† I don’t think that I would actually be embarrassed at all.¬† I would be too busy making our family’s dreams (that involve money anyway) come true.¬† And I think that a Money Tree is a fair and reasonable¬†wish, since I have not yet¬†been given or found a Grace and Beauty Tree, a Big Boobs with a Tiny Waist Tree, a Babysitter Tree, or an Insanely Long¬†Eyelashes Tree.

Deacon’s Zucchini Moustache. You can hardly even tell that it is him with this disguise. If we had a money tree, I could buy him some really top drawer disguises so the poor kid wouldn’t be using various veggies to create his ‘looks.’ Please send the Money Tree.

But when I was done all that dream fulfilling, I might slow down to be a little bit embarrassed.  But probably not.

Pax and the Great Zucchini – Just like James and The Giant Peach, except there are no bugs in ours and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t fly, and even though he looks like a character, I’m almost positive that he’s not an actual cartoon rendering. Good Lord, please just send that Money Tree, thanks.

Now, where can I find me a Money Tree that acts like this friggin’ zucchini plant¬†does.¬† I promise if I get one, I’ll make money cookies, muffins, bread and patties for every one of you.¬† Pinky swear.

One half of M&M holding the zucchini beast. The other M was out running around in the backyard and could not be caught for a picture. We’ll rope him in next time though! Lasso lessons, anyone? Can’t you see that I really, really, need that Tree?!?