There are so many things people write at the end of a year but the two most common are highlights from the past year and predictions and/or goals for the upcoming year. I am, I think going to post something similar, using mostly pictures. But first, three things. It is extremely early in the morning here and 1) I’m awake (bad) 2) I made the mistake of checking TMZ and the screaming headline is about Kim Kardashian being knocked up with Kayne West’s baby (double bad – how is this news?!?) and 3) I’m thirsty (perfect trifecta – I am a total bitch when I am parched.)
This past year I did not lose a pound. In fact, the ones that I have made new friends (how very social and friendly my extra pounds are, always inviting more to join them!). This past year I did not write an award-winning anything. But I did stay fairly consistent with my blogging and list writing. This past year, I did not punish my body with exercise. Instead, I nurtured it with chocolate. This past year I did not reduce my cellulite. But I did embrace all of my cute, perky new ‘dimples.’ This past year I did not adopt a third world orphan. But I did adopt a half-feral cat. She owns us now. This past year I did not fit into my wedding dress. Or my 2011 jeans. Or most of my other clothes. But all this is okay because I rock track pants and men’s tee shirts like a rock star (Wynonna – is that you?!?). This past year I did not perfect my pie crust. But that’s okay, because I’m not Loretta “Crisco lady” Lynn, so RELAX people! This past year, I did not lose an eye, maim or injure myself severely or require hospitalization. Score one for the klutz!
This coming year I may lose a pound. I may invite a couple of the newbies to vacate. They really are crowding out the O.G. pounds that have been with me through thick and thicker. This year, I may win a writing award. But probably not and I’ll be happy (less suicidal depressed disappointed) with a letter to the editor published in the Georgina Advocate that only ten people actually bother to read past the front page. In 2013, I will think about reducing my chocolate intake (gasp!) and going for more walks and maybe, just maybe doing a sit up or two (but I can tell you now, it will not be more than two and realistically it may take all of 2013 to get those two done). In 2013, I will continue to love my ‘dimples’ I think they’re cute, just cannot help that. 😉 In 2013, I will continue to be owned by the once skinny and feral, andnow fat and lazy Lucy Liu (yes, she’s a ninja, didja know? Even slow and plump, she’s still a ninja). In 2013, I will take my wedding dress out of the closet and look it. And marvel at how small I was. And then I will put it away and be happy. In 2013, I will work on wearing more ‘grown up’ clothes more often. And I vow that I will never, not once, go shopping, pick up the mail, drop a kid off at a school or any other errand wearing pajama bottoms. Really, people? Jammies at Wal-Mart? That shit just ain’t right. In 2013 I will continue my winning streak by avoiding serious injury and eye loss. I have lofty goals, I just can’t help it. I was born this way.
To sum it all up, I will spend 2013 continuing to give ol’ June C. a run for her money. And I promise that in 2013 I will NOT release a celebrity sex tape. That is just so pedestrian and 2003. True story. But, with a bit of luck and a lot of list making, checking and updating, I do plan on doing a bunch of other things too, but I’m too thirsty to think, let alone write anymore at this moment. I’ll be sure to update as I go. But, before signing off for the year, here is my December in review.
I am so blessed. Happy New Year, y’all! Bring on 2013, it’s going to be a great one!
P.S. If you’re not checking out The Keswick Blog on Facebook, then you’re missing out on some radical examples of fabulousness and failures! Join us there and join me in mocking my numerous ineptitudes. 🙂
P.P.S. Perfer Twitter? We’re there too! Follow and never miss another embarrassing moment.
Happy New Years Allison!